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Do you have trouble maintaining close relationships? Do you ask, why do I push people away even though you want to be close to them?
It’s difficult to let people in sometimes, but it’s important to do if you want to have healthy relationships. Pushing people away can only leave you feeling isolated and alone.
If you’re struggling to let people in, here are some reasons that might me cause it.
Why Do I Push People Away?
1. You are Afraid of Getting Hurt
One of the main reasons you push people away could be because you are afraid of getting hurt. Maybe you have been hurt before, both emotionally and physically, and don’t want to go through that again. When you push people away, it’s a defense mechanism to protect yourself from getting hurt again.
2. You Don’t Trust People
Another reason you push people away could be because you don’t trust people. You’ve been betrayed before, and it’s made you very guarded. You don’t let people in easily, and even when you do, you still don’t fully trust them. This makes it difficult for you to form close relationships with others.
3. You are Afraid of Rejection
You also push people away because you are afraid of rejection. You don’t like feeling like you are not good enough, and so you often put up walls to protect yourself.
If you don’t let people get close to you, then they can’t reject you, right? Wrong. This thinking will probably only lead to loneliness and isolation.
4. You Don’t Feel Worthy of Love
Another reason you may push people away is because you don’t feel worthy of love. Maybe this is because of past experiences, or maybe it’s just the way you see yourself. Either way, it’s a destructive belief and could be something you need to work on.
5. It’s Easier to be Alone
Sometimes it just feels easier to be alone than to connect with someone else. It’s less work and less hassle. Why bother when you can just do your own thing? This thinking is harmful because it can lead to loneliness and isolation.
6. Fear of intimacy
One of the main reasons people push others away is because they are afraid of intimacy. Intimacy means being close to another person, both emotionally and physically. It can be scary to let someone else in, but it can also be very rewarding.
7. Fear of abandonment
Another common fear that can lead to people pushing others away is the fear of abandonment. Experiences can cause this fear, such as being abandoned by a parent or guardian. If you have this fear, you may try to push others away before they have a chance to leave you.
8. Low self-esteem
People with low self-esteem often push others away because they do not feel worthy of love or attention. If you have low self-esteem, you may sabotage your relationships or push others away before they get too close to you.
9. Difficulty communicating
Some people push others away because they find it difficult to communicate their needs and wants. If you have difficulty communicating, you may withdraw from conversations or avoid social situations altogether. This can make it difficult to form and maintain close relationships with others.
10. Feeling overwhelmed
Sometimes, people push others away because they are feeling overwhelmed by their own emotions or the emotions of those around them.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, it is important to take some time for yourself so that you can recharge and regain your emotional balance.
Pushing others away is not a healthy way to deal with your feelings; instead, try to communicate your needs to those around you in a calm and assertive manner.
11. Being independent
Some people value their independence so much that they push others away before they get too close. While there is nothing wrong with being independent, this can make it difficult to form close relationships with others.
If you push others away, try to balance maintaining your independence and allowing yourself to be open and vulnerable to those around you.
12. Being emotionally unavailable
People who are emotionally unavailable can often push others away because they are not ready or willing to open and share their feelings.
If you are emotionally unavailable, you may withdraw from conversations or avoiding social situations altogether. This can make it difficult to form and maintain close relationships with others.
Conclusion
Pushing others away is a defense mechanism that can be used in response to a variety of underlying issues, such as low self-esteem, fear of intimacy, or difficulty communicating.
If you push others away, it is important to take some time to examine the reasons you may do so. Once you have a better understanding of the root cause, you can work on addressing it in a healthy and productive manner.
Remember, relationships are a two-way street; if you want to maintain close relationships with others, you need to let them in.
