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Do you find yourself constantly on the defensive? Are you always arguing with your partner or colleagues? If so, you’re not alone. Defensive behaviour is common, but it can be harmful to your relationships and your career. In this post, we’ll explore the causes of defensive behaviour and offer some tips for overcoming it.
What causes a person to be defensive?
There are many reasons why people become defensive. Some people may become defensive when they feel threatened or when they are feeling attacked. Others may become defensive when they feel that they are being judged or when they feel that they are not being listened to. Still others may become defensive when they feel that they are not being given an opportunity to express their views.
What is an example of a defensive behaviour?
Defensive behaviour can take many different forms, but some of the most common are:
• Putting up a wall • Acting distant • Ignoring the person • Making negative comments about them.
Defensive behaviour can be destructive to any relationship so if you find yourself exhibiting any of these behaviours, it is important to try and change them. There are many ways to do this, and there is no “right” way to behave, as each person is unique and will react differently to different situations. However, trying to behave more calmly, rather than reacting out of anger and uncertainty, will certainly help.
Two people can only grow together if they are willing to overcome their differences, and each person needs to feel that the other is listening and willing to work through the issue together.
How do I stop being defensive and sensitive?
There are a few things that you can do in order to help you stop being defensive and sensitive. The first step is to be aware of your own behavior. Are you constantly reacting to things that are said to you? Are you taking everything that is said to you as a personal attack? If so, it may be helpful to try and take a step back and analyse the situation before responding.
Another thing that you can do is to try and listen more carefully. When someone is speaking to you, it is important that you pay attention to what they are saying. Do not interrupt them or try to answer their question before they have finished speaking. Instead, let them finish and then you can respond.
How do you overcome defensiveness in a relationship?
Defensive behaviour can have a negative impact on relationships. It can make them difficult for others to feel comfortable around us, and it can lead to conflict. If we want to build healthy relationships, we need to be able to accept criticism and disagreements. We need to be willing to listen and learn from others.
It’s important to remember that defensiveness is a natural response to feeling threatened or attacked. However, if you’re continually defensive in a relationship it can have very negative consequences, so here are some quick and effective tips on how to overcome defensiveness in a relationship:
1. Recognize when you’re becoming defensive and take a step back to assess the situation.
2. Be open to listening to your partner and try to understand their perspective, even if you don’t agree with it, or it upsets you.
3. Avoid making assumptions about what is being said. Let whoever is talking finish what they are saying and then, if you feel offended by what they have said, and don’t agree with it, calmly ask them why they feel like that, and if necessary, explain things from your perspective in a calm manner without being defensive.
4. Be willing to compromise and find a way to work together. One of the great things about being human is that we often have very differing opinions (wouldn’t it be boring if we all agreed with each other all the time) so there are going to be times in any relationship where you are not going to agree, when this gets hard is when it’s over things you feel strongly and passionate about, so in circumstances like this, be willing to except the others persons point of view (even if you don’t necessarily agree with it) and then if need be, agree to disagree without taking anything personally or getting defensive.
5. When you are being defensive, stop, take a breath, and reflect on what you are feeling and why. Are you feeling threatened, insecure, jealous, worried, or resentful? If you’re able to identify what it is that you’re feeling it will help you to remain calm and approach the situation in a more positive manner, and if you’re able to identify what has caused the feeling, it will help you to deal with it in a constructive way.
6. Don’t let negative feelings build up, if you notice that you’re becoming defensive try to put a stop to it and let the other person know. Explain you’re feeling defensive, and if necessary, discuss what is causing you to feel that way, rather than bottling it up, and then exploding at a later time and saying something you will regret.
7. Avoid being aggressive, confrontational, or sarcastic. Instead, be polite, but firm, and explain that you feel like the tone of the conversation is not calming and you would like to try to resolve the situation in a more productive manner.
8. Remember, relationships are work and are not always going to be easy, but if you are able to remain calm and relaxed, you will be more likely to be able to create a more productive and healthy environment for your relationship to grow and develop.
9. A part of any relationship is to listen carefully to your partner and try to understand why they feel the way that they do and avoid getting defensive if you disagree with them or feel like they are criticising you.
10. If you are going to talk things through with your partner, be open to what they have to say and give them the benefit of the doubt. Reacting with anger and hostility will only make things worse and negatively affect your ability and willingness to communicate.
11. Try to be respectful of your partners feelings, even if you disagree with them. They may be as worried and concerned about an issue as you are, and it is important to realise that their feelings are as important as your own.
What’s the difference between being defensive and defending yourself?
There is a big difference between being defensive and defending yourself. Being defensive means that you are reacting to something that has upset or offended you, rather than taking action to prevent or stop the situation from happening again. Defending yourself means that you are taking action to protect yourself from harm or injury.
Why is my spouse so defensive?
There are a few reasons why a spouse might become defensive. One could be that they feel threatened or unsafe. Another possibility is that they feel like they’re constantly defending themselves and don’t have time to relax. Additionally, some people may become defensive when they feel like they’re not being listened to or when they feel like their opinions aren’t being respected. In the end, it can be difficult to know why a spouse becomes defensive, but it’s important to try and understand what’s behind their actions to help them change.
Why do I get so defensive with my partner?
There are many reasons why someone might get defensive with their partner. Maybe they feel like they are constantly being attacked and they don’t have the energy to fight back. Alternatively, they may feel like they are the only one trying to make a difference in the relationship and they can’t handle any criticism. Whatever the reason, it’s important to try and identify it and work on fixing it.
How do you talk to a defensive partner?
If you are in a relationship with someone who is defensive, it can be difficult to have a conversation with them. There are a few things you can do to try and start a conversation with your defensive partner.
First, try to understand why they are defensive. Often, people become defensive when they feel threatened or unsupported.
Second, try to be understanding and compassionate. Remember that your partner is probably feeling overwhelmed and may not be in the best place to have a conversation.
Finally, be patient. It can take a while for a defensive partner to open up to you. Just keep trying and eventually you will get through to them.
What defensiveness does to a relationship?
Defensiveness is a common trait in people who are insecure. When someone is defensive, they tend to react in a way that protects themselves from being hurt or criticized. This can have a negative impact on a relationship because it makes it difficult for the other person to communicate.
It can also lead to tension and conflict. If you find that you’re becoming defensive often, there are some steps that you can take to improve your relationship.
First, try to understand why you’re reacting this way.
Then, try to find ways to communicate your feelings without resorting to defensive behaviour.
Finally, be aware of the impact your defensive behaviour has on your partner and try to be more understanding.
How do you deal with a defensive person?
There are a few things you can do if you find yourself dealing with someone who is always defensive.
First, try to understand why the person is defensive. Often, people become defensive because they are afraid of being hurt or rejected. If you can understand why the person is defensive, you can begin to address the issue in a way that will be more likely to be successful.
Another approach is to try and change the way the person is reacting. Often, we react defensively because we are afraid of what someone might say or do. If you can find a way to change the way the person is reacting, the chances of them reacting defensively will decrease.
Finally, be aware of the impact that defensive behaviour has on your partner. Often, defensive behaviour makes it difficult for the other person to communicate. If you find that your partner is always reacting defensively, try to be more understanding and try to address the issue in a way that is more likely to be successful.
How can we stop defensive communication?
There are a few things that we can do to stop defensive communication. One is to be aware of our own defensive behaviours and how they might be impacting our relationships.
Another is to be honest with ourselves and others about how we’re feeling.
Finally, we can work on building better relationships by being more understanding and accepting of others.
Defensive behaviour can be harmful to your relationships and career. But with practice, you can learn to overcome it.
By understanding the causes and triggers for defensive behaviour, and challenging your defensiveness, you can begin to make positive changes in your life.