being defensive in an argument

How to Stop Being Defensive in an Argument

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Arguments can be uncomfortable to manage, but the way we handle arguments can be just as important as the argument itself.

Being argumentative can be beneficial to certain conversations, but when one party becomes overly defensive in an argument, it can lead to further conflict and dysfunction.

It is important to recognize when we become defensive and understand how to deal with it in a healthy and productive manner.

This blog post will discuss the different ways one can approach being defensive in an argument in order to maintain a professional and respectful dialogue.

Take a deep breath and count to 10

When you find yourself in a heated argument, remember that staying calm and not being defensive is the key to resolving the issue. If you start to feel yourself getting defensive, take a deep breath and count to ten.

This will give you a moment to take a step back and assess the situation objectively.

Taking a break from the discussion can also be helpful; it gives you a chance to cool down and come back to the conversation with a clear head.

Once you’re in a better headspace, you can listen to the other person’s point of view and work together to find a solution.

Listen actively and try to understand the other person’s perspective

In a heated argument, it’s easy to become defensive. This is especially true if you feel you’re not being heard or that your point of view is being attacked.

One of the best ways to avoid becoming defensive while in an argument is to actively listen and try to understand the other person’s perspective.

This will not only help you better understand the other person’s point of view, but it will also allow you to respond more effectively and rationally instead of defensively.

Try to find common ground in the conversation

For being defensive in an argument, one of the best ways to stay calm is to find common ground in the conversation.

This will help both parties to move towards a solution without feeling threatened.

To do this, start by asking open-ended questions to get to the root of the issue. Pay attention to the other person’s body language and tone of voice. This will help you recognize any signs of being defensive.

When you find common ground, validate each other’s feelings, and then focus on the solution.

Remember, it’s not about winning an argument, but reaching a resolution.

Ask questions to clarify points of disagreement

Ask questions to clarify points of disagreement. This allows both parties to better understand the points being made and to find common ground.

Doing so in a friendly and non-confrontational tone can help to defuse the tension and create an environment where both parties can express their thoughts without fear of judgment.

Asking questions also helps you to identify where the disagreement lies and how to address it. This can go a long way in creating a productive, respectful dialogue.

Acknowledge the other person’s feelings

It is perfectly natural to have a different point of view from the other person, but it is important to recognize that their feelings are valid, regardless of the position they are taking.

Doing so will help the situation become less heated and more productive. Acknowledging the other person’s feelings will show them you are truly listening and that you respect their point of view.

Avoid making assumptions

If you want to get through any argument without getting overly defensive, try to avoid making assumptions.

We can often jump to conclusions when we’re feeling angry or frustrated. However, it’s important to recognize that assumptions can be wrong, and they can even make the situation worse.

When in doubt, avoid jumping to conclusions, and instead focus on listening to the other person and understanding their point of view. This can help to reduce the tension and make it easier to reach a resolution.

Stay focused on the issue at hand

When you’re having a hard argument, it can be tempting to get defensive. Before you know it, you’re no longer focused on the issue at hand.

To avoid this, remind yourself to stay focused on the issue. Be mindful of your body language and tone, and make sure you’re not making false assumptions or jumping to conclusions.

Being defensive can make the conversation unproductive and lead to further hard feelings.

Seek resolution instead of trying to win the argument

In an argument, it’s easy to get wrapped up in trying to win instead of trying to reach a resolution. Winning an argument may make you feel good in the moment, but it rarely leads to any mutual understanding or resolution.

Instead, focus on coming to a resolution that both parties are happy with. By seeking resolution rather than victory, you can avoid being defensive in an argument and instead come away with a positive outcome.

In Summary

Be mindful of the way you approach arguments. Being defensive rarely helps to resolve an issue or reach a compromise.

Instead, take a step back, take a breath, and try to approach the argument with an open mind and open heart.

Listen to the other person’s perspective and be willing to compromise. It may take a bit of extra effort, but it will be worth it in the end.