how to gain social confidence

22 Tips: How to Gain Social Confidence

how to gain social confidence

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Have you ever felt shy or anxious in social situations? If so, you’re not alone. Many people feel nervous or self-conscious in social situations. The good news is that there are things you can do to improve your social confidence.

Here are 22 Tips on How to Gain Social Confidence:

Understand your fear

The first step to overcoming any fear is to understand it. What is it about social situations that makes you anxious? Is it the fear of rejection? The fear of looking foolish? The fear of not knowing what to say? Do you believe that you’re not interesting or likable? Once you identify these thoughts, you can start to challenge and reframe them and making you first step on the road to gaining social confidence

Practice your social skills

Like any skill, social confidence requires practice. Make an effort to interact with people on a daily basis, even if it’s just small talk. The more you do it, the easier it will become.

Strike up a conversation

One of the hardest things about being shy is starting a conversation with someone new. But once you get over that initial hurdle, it’s smooth sailing from there!

To make things easier on yourself, try thinking of some conversation starters ahead of time so you’re not caught off guard when someone approaches you. Some examples for these might be : What brings you to this area? What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream? What do you do for a living? How long have you lived here? Where are you from originally?

Be prepared

One of the best tips on how to gain social confidence is to be prepared for the situation you’re facing. If you know what to expect and have a plan for how to handle it, you’ll feel much more confident than if you’re going into the situation blind.

For example, if you’re going to a networking event, research the event ahead of time and make a list of people you want to meet. If you’re going on a date, choose a place that’s comfortable for both of you and come up with a few conversation starters ahead of time.

Focus on others, not on yourself

When we’re anxious in social situations, we tend to focus on ourselves and become preoccupied with our own thoughts and emotions. Instead , try to focus on the other person . Ask them questions about themselves , listen attentively , and show genuine interest in what they have to say .

This will help take the focus off of yourself and make the interaction more enjoyable for both of you. 

Compliment others often

Everyone loves receiving compliments, so start dishing them out! Complimenting others is also a great way to start conversations and get people talking to you. Just make sure that your compliments are genuine and honest – no one likes false flattery!

Be yourself

Whenever possible, try not to put on any airs or act like a different person around different people. You’re just as interesting and unique as everyone else, so let everyone see that side of you!

And don’t be afraid to break out of your shell once in a while – it might take some getting used to, but it’s definitely worth it in the end!

Take care of yourself physically and emotionally

When you’re feeling good about yourself, it’s easier to be confident in social situations. So make sure to take care of yourself by eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly. Also, find ways to manage stress in healthy ways (e.g., through meditation, journaling, or spending time in nature).

Build your self-esteem

A large part of social confidence is feeling good about yourself. If you don’t feel good about yourself, it will be difficult to feel confident in social situations. There are many things you can do to build your self-esteem, such as practicing positive self-talk, setting realistic goals, and surrounding yourself with positive people.

Be assertive

Assertiveness is the ability to express our needs and wants in an honest and direct way , without being aggressive . It’s important in social interactions because it allows us to set boundaries , communicate our needs , and stand up for ourselves .

If assertiveness doesn’t come naturally to you , practice it in low-stakes situations before using it in more challenging situations . For example , next time someone cuts ahead of you in line , calmly but firmly say ” Excuse me , I was next .”  

Develop strong body language

Your body language plays a big role in how confident you appear in social situations. Stand up straight, make eye contact, and smile when you meet someone new. These simple actions will make you appear more confident and approachable.

Practice active listening

Active listening is a skill that will serve you well in all areas of your life, especially when looking at how to gain social confidence because it’s especially important in social situations where miscommunication can easily lead to conflict or misunderstanding .

When someone is speaking to you, give them your full attention and try to understand their point of view . Not only will this make the other person feel valued , but it will also give you an opportunity to connect with them on a deeper level .

Ask questions

Asking questions is a great way to show interest in someone else and keep conversations flowing . When asking questions , avoid yes or no questions , which can often lead to short , awkward conversations.

Instead , ask open-ended questions that encourage the other person to share more about themselves . For example , instead of asking “Do you like football?” ask “What do you think of the game last night?”

Dress for success

The way you dress can impact the way you feel about yourself. If you look good, you’ll feel good. Choose clothes that make you feel comfortable and stylish. Avoid anything that makes you feel self-conscious or uncomfortable.

Practice positive self-talk

What we tell ourselves has a big impact on our level of confidence. Practice speaking kindly to yourself and avoid putting yourself down. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. For example, “I’m not good enough” can become “I’m doing my best.”

Make eye contact

One of the most important things that you can do when interacting with people is make sure that you make eye contact . This will not only show that you’re engaged in the conversation , but it will also indicate that you’re interested in what the other person has to say. When making eye contact, avoid staring or looking away abruptly – these behaviors can come across as rude or unapproachable.

Get a pet

Pets are great icebreakers and can help you feel more comfortable in social situations. If you don’t have the time or space for a pet of your own, consider volunteering at your local animal shelter.

Join a club or organization

This is a great way to meet new people who share your interests. Whether it’s a book club, a sports team, or even a cooking class, there’s sure to be something out there for you.


Not only will volunteering make you feel good about yourself, but it will also give you the opportunity to meet new people and build your confidence in social situations

Go out and explore

One of the best ways to gain social confidence is to simply put yourself out there. Go explore your city or town and see all that it has to offer. Who knows, you might just find your new favorite hangout spot.

Attend social events

From birthday parties to barbecues, there are plenty of social events happening all around you. Attend one (or two, or three!) and mingle with the other guests. You might be surprised at how easy it is to talk to people when you’re not hiding behind a computer screen.


Smiling is one of the easiest things you can do to make yourself more sociable. When someone smiles at you, it breaks the ice and makes it easier for them to start a conversation with you. Don’t be afraid to mirror their smile back – it’ll make the interaction even more friendly!

In Conclusion

The great thing about improving your social confidence is that it’s a process, and you can do it!

You’ll make mistakes along the way, and you’ll likely feel anxious and worried in many situations. Just give yourself time to adjust and try to remember that feeling nervous is completely normal.

Eventually, with a bit of practice and perseverance, you’ll be more confident in social situations than you ever thought possible.

So start using these tips on how to gain social confidence so that you can enjoy interacting with others instead of dreading it . Just remember that it takes time and practice – so be patient with yourself as you work on developing this important skill .